Reflecting

Do you know what you were doing on the evening of June 8, 2008? I wouldn't if it weren't for a very important journal entry that has stuck in my brain. It was storming out, and I was incredibly lost, even though I was sitting at my kitchen table. Confused, lonely, dissatisfied, bored, desperate. Just lost. I felt like I was a failure and that I'd been left behind by the world. I began a new journal that evening. This is an excerpt from that entry:

"Where was I a year or two ago?... Is this what I wanted to be doing in a year or two a year or two ago? Nope. I'm not content, not fulfilled. Where will I be in another year or two? I have no more excuses, it's time to jump."

And by jump, I didn't mean off a building. I wasn't that kind of depressed! I just knew that there was more out there for me... I wasn't living life to the max! 

A year ago, I was preparing to leave the country and join TREK. I had no idea what to expect and to which country I'd be sent to. I was excited and scared stupid but had a peace that passed understanding. Sitting here a year later, I can honestly say that this has probably been the best year of my life. And not because it was all rainbows and sunshine and laughing babies (although I've had a good dose of all of that!). This year has been tough! This year I really felt like I was walking with God and really following his leading.

So... what about this year? I'm starting school in a week and again... feeling scared stupid, but I have that peace! I've never been excited for school before and I actually am a little excited for the classes I'm taking and for what the future holds! (Check back in a month!) I desire to spend another year (and all the ones following) to continue walking in step with the Lord. 

So... what will you be doing in a year? Working in a job that you hate? Traveling the globe? Starting something new? Perhaps you will become a professional underwater basket weaver. Okay, the last one's not likely, but if you can dream it, you can do it! 

Until next time...